Benjamin Franklin-effect

Improve Your Relationships with the Benjamin Franklin Effect

“Do good to your friends to keep them, to your enemies to win them.” – Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States, discovered a fascinating psychological phenomenon: asking for a favor can lead to greater sympathy from the giver. This paradoxical effect, known as the Benjamin Franklin Effect, remains relevant today in our daily interactions, from personal relationships to professional environments.

Historical Context: How Franklin Discovered It

Franklin stumbled upon this effect after borrowing a rare book from a political rival. Remarkably, this improved their relationship. This anecdote not only provides insight into Franklin's personal relationships but also illustrates a larger psychological principle that continues to be studied.

Understanding the Benjamin Franklin Effect

Understanding the concept of 'cognitive dissonance' is crucial to grasping the Benjamin Franklin Effect. When one helps another, the brain seeks a reason for this behavior. If you wish to assist someone whom you previously viewed negatively, it helps to adjust your opinion of that person somewhat positively to maintain consistency. We sometimes think that we do good for people we like. But the Benjamin Franklin Effect also means the opposite, namely that we come to like people for whom we do something good.

Of course, asking for help can also be seen as a compliment because you acknowledge that someone can do something better than you.

How to Utilize the Benjamin Franklin Effect

When you ask your employees for advice, it can lead to a better working relationship because the employee feels valued. But even if you ask your friends to help you move, it can strengthen your bonds. Or consider neighbors who ask each other for help and how it strengthens the social fabric of the community. Even businesses use it to make customers more loyal: they ask their customers for feedback on customer service. But today, with the numerous surveys, the request for feedback may have gone a bit overboard. This can, of course, have a counterproductive effect. Asking for help has also become a useful tool in online communities and social media. And even among business competitors, seeking help can lead to fruitful collaborations.

But be aware, this effect can also be used for clever marketing. For example, there have been marketing campaigns, such as those by Lays Chips, where customers are invited to give their opinion on a new flavor, leading to increased engagement and a more positive perception of the brand, ultimately resulting in more sales.

Do You Sometimes Struggle to Ask for Help from Someone? Consider that the Benjamin Franklin Effect may lead to a better relationship with that person.

Recommended Reading: David McRaney, You Can Beat Your Brain, How to turn your enemies into friends, how to make better decisions and other ways to be less dumb, 2013.

Gekookte Kikker Syndroom

"The Boiled Frog Syndrome: Why You Often Notice Change Too Late"

The Boiled Frog Syndrome is a metaphor used to describe people's tendency to ignore or belatedly notice changes in their environment, even when those changes could be potentially dangerous. The idea behind it is simple: if you were to throw a frog into boiling water, it would immediately jump to escape. However, if you place the frog in cold water and gradually heat it, the frog will simply sit there until it's too late.

Now, you might be thinking, "Well, I'm not a frog, so this doesn't apply to me." But the Boiled Frog Syndrome is actually a quite apt analogy for human behavior. You've undoubtedly experienced moments when you ignored changes in your life, whether related to your health, finances, relationships, or work.

Here are a few examples:

1. The Sneaky Weight and Stress Gain

  • When I had successfully completed a diet, it was just a matter of "maintaining my weight." But after a while, I gained a little weight back. It seemed insignificant compared to the pounds I had lost, so I didn't pay much attention to it. But before I knew it, my favorite pair of jeans no longer fit. The Boiled Frog Syndrome in action! But what if you let your stress build up in the same way? After some time, you might realize that you've fallen into a full-blown burnout .

2. The Financial Hangover

  • You start ignoring your monthly credit card bills because the amount is slightly higher than usual. You continue to spend, thinking it's not a big deal. Until you notice that you're deep in debt and have no idea how it got to that point. And if you continue to bury your head in the sand, you might even lose control to the extent that you can't afford to pay your rent anymore. In the worst-case scenario, you could end up completely homeless. This is the extreme worst-case scenario of the Boiled Frog Syndrome in financial matters, where all those minor financial setbacks lead to life on the streets.

3. The Relationship Disaster

  • You've sensed tension in your relationship for a while, but you choose to ignore it, hoping it will go away on its own. Spoiler alert: it usually doesn't. The Boiled Frog Syndrome can let relationships simmer just like slowly heating water. An extreme case of the Boiled Frog in relationships is when you get entangled with a narcissist because these individuals are exceptionally skilled at using this syndrome to slowly ensnare their victims. A narcissist may begin with subtle manipulation and gradually take control without you even noticing. Before you know it, you're deeply trapped in a suffocating relationship, and you're unsure how to escape .

So, how do you avoid becoming a "boiled frog"? It all starts with awareness and proactive action. Be attentive to changes in your life, no matter how small they seem, and take them seriously. If you notice something is amiss, act before the situation reaches a boiling point.

In short, don't be a "frog" ensnared by the Boiled Frog Syndrome. Recognize changes in your life, take action, and prevent yourself from getting burned, or in this case, burned by life itself. Because, let's be honest, who wants to end up like a frog? ??

When was the last time you were a victim of the Boiled Frog Syndrome?