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7 Tips Against Fear of Failure

"Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.” – Japanese proverb

Is your child struggling with performance anxiety? Or perhaps you yourself are grappling with fear of failure, be it for a job application or an exam? I'd like to share some effective tips with you. Overcoming performance anxiety is a journey, but with the right strategies and tools, significant progress can be achieved. Here are 7 tips to combat fear of failure:

Tip 1: Document Your Fears

Don't ignore your fear of failure; instead, face it by jotting down what specifically scares you. Writing it down demystifies it, transforming it from a looming Sword of Damocles into something more manageable. To assist your child with this, encourage them to write down their fears and symbolically dispose of them by either burying or burning the paper. You can also guide your child in rephrasing these fears into more positive thoughts. Instead of thinking, 'I'm going to mess this up,' encourage them to think, 'I'll do my best, and that's good enough.' (See also Tip 5)

Tip 2: Focus on the Journey, Not Just the Destination

Don't just fixate on the end goal—'I must succeed'—but pay attention to the journey that leads there. If you dive into studying while preoccupied with the outcome, you're not truly engaging with the material, and your focus suffers. Immerse yourself in the subject matter and find a way to enjoy it. After all, the outcome is a byproduct of the process, and you have to engage with that process. To help your child, think of creative ways to make studying more enjoyable. How can they interact with the material in a fun way? Consider techniques like mindmapping or using colors to highlight important portions of the material.  

Tip 3: Train Under Stress Conditions

If you are afraid of failing because you're worried you won't be ready in time, you can practice to overcome that fear. Set your alarm clock and complete an exercise under time pressure. You can make it a game with your child, gradually reducing the time limit so that your child experiences success and notices improvement. If your child has trouble concentrating, you can also practice by adding distractions. Have them complete an exercise while the radio is playing, turning it into a challenge.

Tip 4: Offer Strong Support

Your child will perform better in a calm and secure environment—this is a given. Emotional well-being is crucial for optimal performance. Hence, as a parent, it's vital to provide not just a safe haven but also consistent positive reinforcement. Engage with your child to discuss their fears and experiences, while providing reassurance, motivation, and encouragement. If you're dealing with performance anxiety yourself, make it a priority to be around individuals who uplift you rather than drag you down.

Tip 5: Monitor Your Mindset

You might be prone to negative thinking, such as "I can't do this" or "I'm terrible at math." Replace these thoughts with empowering ones like "If someone else can do it, so can I" or "I may not be the best, but I can be above average." This tip significantly helped me. For instance, I was awful at sports and games. After some private practice, however, I managed to outperform my detractors. This initial success prompted me to apply the same principle in other areas, like drawing, another skill I had to work on. Since then, I'm convinced that anything is achievable with enough focus, care, and motivation.

Tip 6: Prioritize Calm Preparation

Your mental state is crucial when it's time to perform. Last-minute cramming will only increase stress levels, as those final moments aren't sufficient for absorbing new information. Instead, focus on calming techniques to strengthen your mental resolve. Breathing exercises, singing, or engaging in light conversations can help. Visualizing a successful performance the night before can also provide a mental edge, as your brain struggles to differentiate between reality and imagination. visualisatie.

Tip 7: Adopt Specialized Strategies When Required

If you or your child has a learning or behavioral disorder like ADD or ADHD, performance anxiety may be exacerbated by these conditions. Implement specialized strategies that cater to these specific needs. Techniques that enhance concentration, such as breaking tasks into smaller chunks, can be particularly helpful. Effective coping strategies can equip you to face challenges, even with a disorder.

In Conclusion

Remember that performance anxiety, like all fears, is a mental construct. It can be managed with the right psychological techniques. If self-help doesn't work, consider hypnotherapy. I have personally used self-hypnosis techniques successfully throughout my academic career. If you're interested in hypnosis for yourself or your child, I highly recommend seeking the help of a qualified coach for help.

De Egoscue-methodez

The Egoscue Method: Small Postural Adjustments for Enhanced Well-Being.

“Life is a balance between rest and movement.” – Rajneesh

During my journey with Tony Robbins I came across the Egoscue Method for tackling chronic pain. Being naturally skeptical, I decided to give it a try. To my surprise, just ten days of dedicated practice yielded noticeable improvements. In this article, I'll delve into what the Egoscue Method entails and how its effectiveness can be measured.

What is the Egoscue Method?

Do you frequently experience back or knee pain, or any other persistent physical discomfort? Often, such pain becomes a constant companion in your life. The Egoscue Method aims to address the root causes of these nagging issues. Developed in the 1970s by Pete Egoscue, a Vietnam veteran seeking relief from his war-induced chronic pain, this approach is predicated on the belief that the human body is designed for movement. An imbalance in one part of the body can trigger issues elsewhere; for instance, hip issues might lead to knee problems, and spinal issues could cause neck pain.

When is your body in balance?

You can consider your body to be balanced when it is symmetrical. To test this, stand against a wall and see if your back, shoulders, and head simultaneously touch the wall when relaxed. Most people, including myself, feel more at ease leaning forward slightly. However, this is an indication that your body is out of balance.

You can also take a photograph to check for symmetry in your shoulders and knees. Another test involves standing straight with your eyes closed. If you start to sway after a short time, it's likely that your body is unbalanced.

How does the Egoscue Method Work?

At its core, the Egoscue Method comprises a series of tailored exercises and stretches, known as "E-cises." These are designed to realign your body through incremental adjustments. Consistent practice can improve your posture, increase your range of motion, and alleviate chronic pain. Before and after photos are often used to gauge progress. In my case, after one week, I noticed a marked improvement in my posture—my back was straighter and my head less inclined forward.

Some Basic Egoscue Excercises

One of my favorites is the ' ‘static back’ exercise, which can also serve as a form of meditation. To perform it, lie on your back on the floor and rest your lower legs on a chair, forming a 90-degree angle at the knees. Extend your arms at a 45-degree angle to your torso, palms facing up. Hold this position for 5-10 minutes to help reset your back.

At this link you can find additional exercises.

If you're struggling with persistent pain or simply seeking to improve your posture, the Egoscue Method could be the answer you're looking for. It beautifully illustrates the butterfly effect within your body—small changes can bring everything back into balance, significantly enhancing your well-being. However, it's advisable to consult a professional to ensure the exercises are suitable and safe for your specific needs.

To learn more, read Pete Egoscue's book.

For mor insights consider reading Pete Egoscue,'s book, "Painfree, A revolutionary method for stopping chronic pain", Bantam Books New York, 2021.