Meer doen in minder tijd

7 tips to accomplish more in less time (part 1)

Brenda Casteleyn

"People who think that time is money usually only realize on their deathbed that their time is up but their money isn't." ― Alexander Pola

Have you ever felt like time was slipping through your fingers, even in the midst of retirement expectations or the hustle of your daily life? I vividly remember eagerly anticipating my retirement, expecting a sea of time lying ahead. Ironically, it seems that my schedule is now busier than ever before. Time is more precious than ever, and this awareness has led me to contemplate how we can do more in less time.

Fortunately, there are strategies you can apply to increase your productivity. Here are the first seven tips that can help you make the most of your time. Not necessarily to do more, but to have time left for what truly matters in life.

1. Make a plan and set priorities

It might seem contradictory when you have little time to spend a quarter-hour planning. However, without doing so, you lose a lot of time and energy hopping aimlessly from one task to another. Imagine that, through thoughtful planning, you discover that the work you do for one task is actually the key to success for another. By setting the right order, you can create synergy between tasks and handle them more efficiently. This prioritization prevents you from getting stuck in the multitude of small tasks that may not be essential and lead to a loss of time.

2. Avoid multitasking

This tip applies to both men and women. Even if you think you can do multiple things at once, it's actually an illusion. Instead of multitasking, you're constantly switching from one task to another. It's not surprising that studies have shown multitasking actually reduces your productivity. Concentrating on a single task leads to fewer mistakes and improves the quality of your work. Better focus also makes you work faster.

3. Take regular breaks or use the Pomodoro technique

Named after the tomato-shaped kitchen timer used by its creator, this Pomodoro  technique involves working intensively on a task for 25 minutes and then taking a 5-minute break. These short, focused work periods can help you avoid distractions and keep your energy level high. Taking breaks is not only a well-deserved breather, but it also allows you to stay fresh and alert, increasing your productivity throughout the day.

4. Minimize distractions

To work with focus, it's important not to be distracted. If a background radio distracts you, turn it off. But more importantly, turn off your phone and all digital distractions. Each notification requires your attention and, therefore, time. Ensure you have a quiet workspace so that you aren't disturbed, or inform others that you are working.

5. Learn to say 'No'

It's easy to get overwhelmed when trying to please everyone. By learning to set boundaries and saying 'no' to tasks or obligations that don't align with your goals or priorities, you take care of your well-being and productivity. If you've made a priority list, you can easily refer to it to frame your 'no.'

6. Use technology

There are many digital tools designed to increase your productivity. Apps like Trello help you manage projects, Todoist helps you track task lists, and Google Calendar can assist you in managing your time. Choose the tools that best suit you and integrate them into your daily routine. However, remember that technology is a tool, not a goal in itself. It's an art to find the right balance so that technology actually enhances your productivity without overwhelming you.

7. Schedule regular reflection moments

Periodic self-evaluation can help you refine your approach and identify any obstacles. So, when you're extremely busy, take some time to reflect on what works and what doesn't so that you can adjust your strategies and optimize your productivity. This prevents you from running around like a headless chicken from one task to another.

In conclusion:

These tips reveal that working faster is actually a good balance between planning and reflecting on one side and working concentrated on the other. Speed is achieved by also slowing down occasionally and taking breaks, or as the French saying goes: 'reculer pour mieux sauter,' which means 'to step back in order to jump better.' Therefore, at the end of each week or month, take the time to look back on your achievements. Consider what went well, what could be improved, and what changes you can make to make the next period even more productive. By consciously choosing where you invest your time and energy, you can have time left for the enjoyable aspects of life.

Next week, we'll bring additional tips in part 2. Meanwhile, do you have any tips for doing more in less time? Share them below...

Relaxte vrouw op kantoor die technieken gebruikt om haar gedachten te ordenen.

7 Ways to Organize Your Thoughts in an Overwhelmed World

Brenda Casteleyn

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." - Leonardo da Vinci

Do you also sometimes feel overwhelmed by all the stimuli and endless flow of information? Fortunately, there are methods you can use to organize your thoughts and find clarity. Here are seven effective techniques to declutter your mind and regain focus.

1. Mind Mapping: A Visual Technique for Organization

Mind mapping is a visual technique where you organize information around a central idea. It resembles a tree with branches: the central theme is in the middle, and related topics branch out around it. This structure promotes a holistic view of complex topics and stimulates your creativity. Thus, it's ideal for brainstorming, seeing connections, and organizing. Want to know more? Click on this clip in youtube.  

2. Journal Writing: Reflection and Insight

Making it a daily habit to write about your concerns creates an outlet for your thoughts. It's a moment of reflection where you can express feelings, ideas, and worries without judgment. Not only does it bring peace to your mind, but it also might provide solutions or new insights.

3. Meditation: Reduce Stress and Promote Clarity

This age-old practice is effective in reducing stress and promoting mental clarity. By focusing on your breathing or a specific meditation point, you can minimize the noise from daily distractions. Just let your thoughts pass like a train, making them less disruptive.

4. Priority List: Strategy and Control

List your tasks or worries and rank them based on importance. By doing this, you can form a clear strategy on which steps to take first. Moreover, listing everything gives you the feeling of being back in control.  

5. Digital Detox: Reduce Mental Noise

Take regular breaks from technology. Disconnecting from digital devices can reduce mental noise and refocus on what really matters.

6. Nature Walks: Calming and Perspective

Nature has a calming effect on the mind. Regular walks in green surroundings can help organize your thoughts and offer new perspectives.

7. Maintain a Tidy Environment: Efficiency and Mental Peace

Clean up your physical space. A tidy desk or home can lead to a clear mind. Start small and organize one space or area at a time. This promotes efficiency, as you can quickly find what you need, and it also provides mental peace. Too much clutter and chaos in your surroundings can overload your brain with excessive stimuli. So, cleaning can improve both your physical and mental well-being.

Conclusion

Organizing thoughts is essential in the hectic world. With the right tools and techniques, you can find mental clarity amidst the chaos. It's not just about sorting information, but also about rediscovering your inner peace and focus.

Which techniques do you use to bring more peace to your mind?

Twee mensen in een restaurant lachen terwijl ze hun technologie gebruiken, een illustratie van technologie in relaties

Technology in Relationships: 7 Tips to Find Digital Balance

Brenda Casteleyn

“Technology is a useful servant but a dangerous master.” – Christian Lange

These days, I catch myself constantly checking my phone. With my watch also connected, I'm alerted with every post on any platform. It feels like I spend more time in the digital world than in the real one. But what exactly is the impact of technology on our relationships? I've gathered 7 tips to make the most out of the digital world while avoiding the pitfalls.

Tip 1. Enrich Your Communication

Thanks to technology, you can now chat with your loved one even if you're thousands of miles apart. You can have deep conversations online with friends or even your psychologist. However, there's a danger in replacing physical interactions with digital ones, losing real intimacy and depth. Use digital communication as a supplement, not a replacement. Remember, text messages can lead to misunderstandings. For important conversations, it's sometimes better to call or meet in person.

Tip 2. Be Aware of Selective Information

Nowadays, all information is easily accessible. But the photos of your friends on that exotic beach don't tell the whole story. Make sure you don't solely rely on what you see online. Take the information you get from (social) media with a grain of salt and occasionally ask your friends how they're genuinely doing.

Tip 3. Digital Introduction, Authentic Connection

Dating apps have transformed the way we meet people. While it's easier than ever to meet new people, it can also foster superficiality. Use technology as a tool to connect, but transition to personal meetings to discover the real person behind the profile.  

Tip 4. Find Your Availability Balance

The pressure to always be reachable can be overwhelming. Maybe you feel it's essential for your kids, boss, or partner to reach you at all times. But what's the downside? There's no longer a moment where you can truly be in the 'now', free from being 'available'. Perhaps consider letting your contacts and family know that you won't be online all the time, so you can schedule 'phone-free' zones or times, allowing you to truly enjoy the moment.

Tip 5. Cherish Moments of Silence  

You never have to feel bored nowadays. Waiting for the tram? Scroll through social media or play an online game. Your phone is always there to entertain during moments of boredom. But boredom serves a purpose; it allows you to slow down and be mindful, reducing stress. Ensure you occasionally schedule empty moments to enjoy the stream of thoughts passing by, rather than filling them with the noise of the internet, freeing you from constant notifications.

Tip 6. Joint Technological Activities

Sometimes, I text my significant other, who's just a floor above, to ask something. It's convenient, but if you're continuously sending messages from different rooms in the same house, you might slowly lose real contact. Use technology for joint activities: play games together, watch movies, or listen to music. Discuss your thoughts about using technology in your relationship. Consider taking a walk without phones for genuine contact with each other and the surroundings.

Tip 7. Conscious Online Shopping

Almost anything can be purchased online nowadays - groceries, meals, books, or kitchen gadgets. It's undoubtedly convenient, but there are downsides. Maybe you're tempted to buy things you didn't really need. Or you get your food delivered instead of enjoying shopping and cooking together. Shopping and cooking can be enjoyable shared experiences.

Conclusion

Technology can indeed enrich your relationships, but it's essential to use it consciously. Actively reflecting on your digital habits can let you enjoy its benefits while steering clear of its pitfalls.

I'm also curious about your experiences. How does technology influence your relationships? Share your thoughts.  

Kind studeert rustig aan bureau, tips tegen faalangst

7 Tips Against Fear of Failure

Brenda Casteleyn

"Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.” – Japanese proverb

Is your child struggling with performance anxiety? Or perhaps you yourself are grappling with fear of failure, be it for a job application or an exam? I'd like to share some effective tips with you. Overcoming performance anxiety is a journey, but with the right strategies and tools, significant progress can be achieved. Here are 7 tips to combat fear of failure:

Tip 1: Document Your Fears

Don't ignore your fear of failure; instead, face it by jotting down what specifically scares you. Writing it down demystifies it, transforming it from a looming Sword of Damocles into something more manageable. To assist your child with this, encourage them to write down their fears and symbolically dispose of them by either burying or burning the paper. You can also guide your child in rephrasing these fears into more positive thoughts. Instead of thinking, 'I'm going to mess this up,' encourage them to think, 'I'll do my best, and that's good enough.' (See also Tip 5)

Tip 2: Focus on the Journey, Not Just the Destination

Don't just fixate on the end goal—'I must succeed'—but pay attention to the journey that leads there. If you dive into studying while preoccupied with the outcome, you're not truly engaging with the material, and your focus suffers. Immerse yourself in the subject matter and find a way to enjoy it. After all, the outcome is a byproduct of the process, and you have to engage with that process. To help your child, think of creative ways to make studying more enjoyable. How can they interact with the material in a fun way? Consider techniques like mindmapping or using colors to highlight important portions of the material.  

Tip 3: Train Under Stress Conditions

If you are afraid of failing because you're worried you won't be ready in time, you can practice to overcome that fear. Set your alarm clock and complete an exercise under time pressure. You can make it a game with your child, gradually reducing the time limit so that your child experiences success and notices improvement. If your child has trouble concentrating, you can also practice by adding distractions. Have them complete an exercise while the radio is playing, turning it into a challenge.

Tip 4: Offer Strong Support

Your child will perform better in a calm and secure environment—this is a given. Emotional well-being is crucial for optimal performance. Hence, as a parent, it's vital to provide not just a safe haven but also consistent positive reinforcement. Engage with your child to discuss their fears and experiences, while providing reassurance, motivation, and encouragement. If you're dealing with performance anxiety yourself, make it a priority to be around individuals who uplift you rather than drag you down.

Tip 5: Monitor Your Mindset

You might be prone to negative thinking, such as "I can't do this" or "I'm terrible at math." Replace these thoughts with empowering ones like "If someone else can do it, so can I" or "I may not be the best, but I can be above average." This tip significantly helped me. For instance, I was awful at sports and games. After some private practice, however, I managed to outperform my detractors. This initial success prompted me to apply the same principle in other areas, like drawing, another skill I had to work on. Since then, I'm convinced that anything is achievable with enough focus, care, and motivation.

Tip 6: Prioritize Calm Preparation

Your mental state is crucial when it's time to perform. Last-minute cramming will only increase stress levels, as those final moments aren't sufficient for absorbing new information. Instead, focus on calming techniques to strengthen your mental resolve. Breathing exercises, singing, or engaging in light conversations can help. Visualizing a successful performance the night before can also provide a mental edge, as your brain struggles to differentiate between reality and imagination. visualisatie.

Tip 7: Adopt Specialized Strategies When Required

If you or your child has a learning or behavioral disorder like ADD or ADHD, performance anxiety may be exacerbated by these conditions. Implement specialized strategies that cater to these specific needs. Techniques that enhance concentration, such as breaking tasks into smaller chunks, can be particularly helpful. Effective coping strategies can equip you to face challenges, even with a disorder.

In Conclusion

Remember that performance anxiety, like all fears, is a mental construct. It can be managed with the right psychological techniques. If self-help doesn't work, consider hypnotherapy. I have personally used self-hypnosis techniques successfully throughout my academic career. If you're interested in hypnosis for yourself or your child, I highly recommend seeking the help of a qualified coach for help.

De Egoscue-methodez

The Egoscue Method: Small Postural Adjustments for Enhanced Well-Being.

Brenda Casteleyn

“Life is a balance between rest and movement.” – Rajneesh

During my journey with Tony Robbins I came across the Egoscue Method for tackling chronic pain. Being naturally skeptical, I decided to give it a try. To my surprise, just ten days of dedicated practice yielded noticeable improvements. In this article, I'll delve into what the Egoscue Method entails and how its effectiveness can be measured.

What is the Egoscue Method?

Do you frequently experience back or knee pain, or any other persistent physical discomfort? Often, such pain becomes a constant companion in your life. The Egoscue Method aims to address the root causes of these nagging issues. Developed in the 1970s by Pete Egoscue, a Vietnam veteran seeking relief from his war-induced chronic pain, this approach is predicated on the belief that the human body is designed for movement. An imbalance in one part of the body can trigger issues elsewhere; for instance, hip issues might lead to knee problems, and spinal issues could cause neck pain.

When is your body in balance?

You can consider your body to be balanced when it is symmetrical. To test this, stand against a wall and see if your back, shoulders, and head simultaneously touch the wall when relaxed. Most people, including myself, feel more at ease leaning forward slightly. However, this is an indication that your body is out of balance.

You can also take a photograph to check for symmetry in your shoulders and knees. Another test involves standing straight with your eyes closed. If you start to sway after a short time, it's likely that your body is unbalanced.

How does the Egoscue Method Work?

At its core, the Egoscue Method comprises a series of tailored exercises and stretches, known as "E-cises." These are designed to realign your body through incremental adjustments. Consistent practice can improve your posture, increase your range of motion, and alleviate chronic pain. Before and after photos are often used to gauge progress. In my case, after one week, I noticed a marked improvement in my posture—my back was straighter and my head less inclined forward.

Some Basic Egoscue Excercises

One of my favorites is the ' ‘static back’ exercise, which can also serve as a form of meditation. To perform it, lie on your back on the floor and rest your lower legs on a chair, forming a 90-degree angle at the knees. Extend your arms at a 45-degree angle to your torso, palms facing up. Hold this position for 5-10 minutes to help reset your back.

At this link you can find additional exercises.

If you're struggling with persistent pain or simply seeking to improve your posture, the Egoscue Method could be the answer you're looking for. It beautifully illustrates the butterfly effect within your body—small changes can bring everything back into balance, significantly enhancing your well-being. However, it's advisable to consult a professional to ensure the exercises are suitable and safe for your specific needs.

To learn more, read Pete Egoscue's book.

For mor insights consider reading Pete Egoscue,'s book, "Painfree, A revolutionary method for stopping chronic pain", Bantam Books New York, 2021.

Artificiële Intelligentie tools voor dummies

Artificial Intelligence for dummies: 7 awesome free tools even your grandma can use

Brenda Casteleyn

“The greatest innovations are the ones that make life easier, not more complicated.” - Unknown

Are you looking for free Artificial Intelligence tools? Or do all those reports about AI scare you off? Perhaps you are not very technically inclined and, like me, you sometimes had the greatest difficulty in having to work with a new program again. Then I have good news, because with Artificial Intelligence everything just becomes easier. Nowadays you can use the most exotic applications without much technical knowledge. I would like to prove that with these 7 Artificial Intelligence tools. for dummies. They are all free tools that do not require you to have any technical knowledge, but are very useful or fun. Are you up for the challenge?

Tool 1. Make your own unique picture

One of the many tools to generate pictures is LexicaYou can have your images generated based on a description in text. For example, I asked to take a photo of a dog wearing sunglasses and a hat and this was one of many images I could choose from:

gratis tool: Afbeelding hond met zonnehoed en bril

Tool 2.Make your own tune

On Beatoven you can click on 'start for free' and then you can choose a title for your tune. Then you indicate how long the tune should last and what tempo. You also choose which genre of music you prefer (rock/pop, etc.) and you can even choose an emotion (eg happy/angry/cheerful). After clicking on all your choices, all you have to do is wait and voila… your own unique tune is created. You can then play it, if you want to download you unfortunately have to take a premium subscription.

If you want to download your music, you can use Soundful On this tool you have to login but for personal use everything is free.

Tool 3. Invent names

Artificial Intelligence is also very nice to get inspiration if you have to come up with a name, for example for your new pet or for your company.

The site Ainamedmypet helps you find a name for your pet. You will first be asked a few questions such as: which pet / some external characteristics / the nature of the animal and in which language do you want the name. Then you will receive a name list with some explanation why the name suits your pet.  

The tool Namelix is great if you're looking for a new name for your business. You just enter a few keywords and a description of your company and you get suggestions for names and logos. I tested it out for the blog butterfly effects and I liked the suggested name 'DropsOfInsight'.

Tool 4. Make your meme

In Supermeme, choose 'start for free' and then you get an input field where you can type in about which you want a meme. I went for "when I try AI tools" and got this meme. You can still adjust the text (translations in this meme: The whole group eagerly awaiting the results of my AI experiment).

Gratis tool: Meme 'als ik AI-tools uitprobeer'

In the tool Imagetomeme you can upload your own pictures to make a meme. Also nice; I made this meme.

Gratis tool Meme boek 'Hoe was je dag'

Tool 5. Have your presentation made

De Gamma-app is echt een geweldige tool als je regelmatig powerpointpresentaties maakt en ook deze is gratis. Je geeft gewoon een onderwerp waarover je een presentatie wil maken en klaar is kees. De tool geeft je dan de keuze voor een sjabloon en een voorstel voor inhoudsopgave. Je kan daar nog iets aan wijzigen of het zo gewoon goedkeuren. En hopsa, je krijgt een mooie powerpointpresentatie, die je kan downloaden en die je dan eventueel nog verder kan aanpassen.  Ik vroeg bijvoorbeeld om een presentatie te maken voor ‘ChatGPT voor beginners’ en dit was de powerpoint.

You can also have a document or web page made with the same app.

Tool 6. Extract informations from a pdf

Let's say you need to read a large PDF to get some information out of it. Or maybe you just want to have your PDF summarized. That is possible with Chatpdf: you download your pdf in it and then you get an input box in which you can ask questions about the pdf. In the free version you are limited to PDFs of a maximum of 120 pages or 10MB per PDF and 3 PDFs per day and 50 questions per day. But that has already helped you a lot if you don't feel like reading everything yourself.

Tool 7. Find an original gift

One of the many tools to help you find a gift is Coolgiftideas. You only need to describe the person you want to surprise with your gift. You then get many ideas.

In Conclusion

Don't forget ChatGPT is also an amazing tool as I explained in an earlier post about Artificial Intelligence. And also keep in mind that the AI ​​world is constantly changing, what is free today can be paid tomorrow. But don't let it stop you from testing one of these fun or handy tools right away. Which tool appeals to you the most?

Persoonlijke groei met Tony Robbins UPW Birmingham

Unleash the Power Within: Personal Growth with Tony Robbins

Brenda Casteleyn

“There is a powerful driving force inside every human being that once unleashed, can make any vision, dream or desire a reality.” – Tony Robbins

In my quest for personal growth and communication techniques, I had come across the name Tony Robbins for years, a guru in the field of NLP. His compelling approach and American style initially intimidated me, especially as I had already taken an NLP course and thought there was nothing new he could teach me. However, I decided to take the leap and participate in UPW (Unleash the Power Within), a four-day seminar with thousands of attendees. What I experienced there turned out to be a transformative journey that liberated me from my limiting beliefs and doubts.

Unleashing Inner Power

The UPW seminar surpassed all my expectations. It was no ordinary course; it was a deep immersion into my own feelings of doubt and uncertainty. Through this inner confrontation, I was able to transform into a liberated and authentic self. The intensive process, shared with thousands of others, led me to discover my true self and release long-standing limitations.

Firewalk

On the very first day, Tony puts you in a peak state that allows you to walk on fire without getting hurt. It symbolizes the triumph over fears. Many well-known individuals have personally been coached by Tony, including not only various U.S. presidents and renowned athletes but also Oprah Winfrey. You can find Oprah's Firewalk experience on YouTube as well: Firewalk .

Reflection and Personal Growth

Looking back on my personal growth journey, I see how my doubts used to hold me back. The inner voice that once hindered me from pursuing my dreams has now been replaced with unwavering self-assurance. I am finally capable of offering my own books with passion and inspiration, without questioning their worth. The feeling of liberation is indescribable and has significantly boosted my self-confidence.

Tony Robbins: An Inspiring Source

For those who want to learn more about Tony Robbins and his methods, he has written numerous books and can be seen in the Netflix documentary 'I'm Not Your Guru.' His powerful approach has inspired and transformed millions of people worldwide.

In Conclusion

The UPW seminar taught me that true power for change lies within ourselves. By acknowledging and letting go of our limiting beliefs, we can unleash our true potential and pursue our dreams with confidence. The experience was intense, but it positively transformed my life, and I am grateful for the insights gained during this extraordinary journey of self-discovery.

Tip: Tony Robbins: Netflix Documentary Tony Robbins I’m Not Your Guru

Tips voor je vakantielectuur

 Tips voor je vakantielectuur

Brenda Casteleyn

“Reading … a vacation for the mind” (Dave Barry)

Elke vakantie begint bij mij met de vraag: welke boeken neem ik mee? Meestal liggen er al een tiental te wachten om eindelijk gelezen te worden, maar heb ik daar ook zin in op reis? Ik verzamelde daarom wat tips voor je vakantielectuur.

Waar hou jij van? Wil je lekker ontspannen met bijvoorbeeld ‘Atlas, het verhaal van pa Salt‘ van Lucinda Riley en Harry Whittaker of ben je fan van Nicci French met de nieuwste ‘Heeft iemand Charlotte Salter gezien?‘. Vakantie is misschien wel de ideale tijd voor literatuur… wat dacht je dan van ‘De wind kent mijn naam‘ van Isabel Allende? Voor wie graag wat bijleert kan ‘Het ontstaan van de tijd’ van Thomas Hertog misschien interessant zijn. Ikzelf ga voor ‘Omringd door idioten’ van Thomas Erikson.

At this website kan je nog meer inspiratie vinden voor leuke vakantielectuur.

Maar vakantie is natuurlijk niet enkel om te lezen, je wil ook met je partner, kinderen, vrienden leuke tijden beleven. Misschien is dan mijn boek ‘Hoe was je dag’ wel leuk. Daarin vind je leuke onderwerpen om samen over te praten tijdens de busreis, op het vliegtuig, het strand of tijdens wandelingen. Ik inspireer je graag met inzichten uit filosofie en psychologie (vlindereffecten) om elkaar (en jezelf) beter te leren kennen.

Of heb je je altijd al afgevraagd hoe ambtenaren hun dagen doorbrengen. In ‘Voor elke oplossing een nieuw probleem’ neem ik je mee naar de wondere wereld van het Antwerpse stadsbestuur. Met tal van anekdotes vertel ik hoe ambtenaren (zichzelf) overleven.

Lentebloesem

Constructive wallowing: how to beat bad feelings by letting yourself have them.

Brenda Casteleyn

“The only way out is through.” – Robert Frost

Who would have thought that positive thinking could also have negative consequences? Not really, of course. Positivity is good, but not when it means brushing your negative feelings under the rug.

Every day, you experience a range of emotions, from joy and gratitude to sadness and frustration. It may seem tempting to avoid or suppress negative emotions, but allowing yourself to feel those emotions is essential for your well-being. This is where constructive suffering comes into play. It is the art of embracing your emotions in a conscious and constructive way, and it can have a profound positive effect on your life.

What happens when you don't allow yourself to feel your emotions?

Firstly, they often get bottled up and suppressed. This can lead to a buildup of tension and emotional burden, making it harder to experience joy and satisfaction. Suppressed emotions can also cause physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, and insomnia.

Moreover, ignoring your emotions can lead to negative coping mechanisms such as overeating, alcohol or drug abuse, or excessive use of social media. These behaviors often serve as temporary "escape routes," but they do not provide sustainable solutions and can even lead to further problems.

So, how can you embrace constructive suffering and process your emotions in a healthy way? One useful technique you can use is the "TRUTH" technique by Tina Gilbertson, which helps you acknowledge and understand your emotions.

The 'TRUTH'-technique

The technique works as follows:

  • Tell yourself the situation

Start by becoming aware of the situation that is bothering you. Identify and acknowledge the factual events that have taken place.

  • Realize what you're feeling

Allow yourself to become consciously aware of your emotions. Acknowledge and label them without judgment. Whether it's sadness, anger, fear, or disappointment, give yourself permission to feel.

  • Uncover self-criticism

Pay attention to any negative thoughts or self-criticism that arises. Recognize that these thoughts can prevent you from fully experiencing and processing your emotions. Sometimes you may think that you're not "allowed" to have certain feelings, but if, for example, you feel anger, there is no ethical dimension to it. You feel what you feel, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's simply a signal that something is not okay. Of course, it's a different story if you engage in negative behavior out of anger.

  • Try to understand yourself

Go deeper and try to understand why you feel a certain way. Ask yourself questions such as: Why does this situation affect me so much? Which personal beliefs or values are being triggered? Try to show understanding for yourself, without reasoning everything away. Just try to figure out what the feeling is trying to tell you.

  • Have the feeling

Allow yourself to fully experience your emotions without judgment. Don't be afraid to be sad, angry, or anxious. Acknowledge that these feelings are normal and human. Give yourself the space to cry, scream, or just be silent. Let the emotions flow through you without suppressing them.

Strategies for constructive suffering

Constructive suffering doesn't mean losing yourself in your emotions or getting trapped in them. It's about being consciously present with your feelings and processing them in a healthy way. Here are some strategies you can apply for constructive suffering:

  • Talking and sharing: Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. Talk about your feelings and share your experiences. This can help you process your emotions and gain new perspectives.
  • Writing: Keep a journal where you can write down your thoughts and feelings. Writing can be a therapeutic outlet and help you better understand your emotions.
  • Listen to music that resonates with what you're feeling to better empathize with your emotions.
  • Meditation and mindfulness: Practice meditation or mindfulness to increase your awareness of the present moment. This can help you observe your emotions without getting entangled in them. By developing a non-judgmental and accepting mindset, you can cultivate a greater sense of self-awareness and emotional balance.
  • Healthy self-care: Take good care of yourself by getting enough rest, engaging in physical exercise, and consuming nutritious food. Allow yourself time to relax and participate in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
  • Seek professional help if needed: If you find that your emotions are overwhelming or you're struggling to process them on your own, don't hesitate to seek professional help. A trained therapist can guide and support you in processing your emotions effectively.

A journey towards insight and well-being

Remember that constructive suffering is a process that requires time and patience. It's important to be gentle and compassionate with yourself throughout this journey. Emotions can provide valuable insights and can help you grow and change. By allowing yourself to feel, understand, and grow, you can have a profound positive impact on your well-being and quality of life.

So, allow yourself to feel, understand, and grow. The butterfly effect of constructive suffering can have a significant impact on your life and help you thrive in your personal growth and well-being. And when negative emotions are acknowledged, positive thinking truly becomes effective.

Reading tip Gilbertson Tina, Constructive wallowing, How to beat bad feelings by letting yourself have them, Piatkus, 2014

Rimpeleffect

7 Ways to create a positive ripple effect

Brenda Casteleyn

Many small ones make a big one (expression)

When you throw a small pebble into the water, ripple patterns are created that spread far out. A small action can have big consequences.

These 7 ways will help you create a positive ripple effect, for yourself or those around you. The 7 techniques all start from small efforts but have a big effect, a 'ripple effect'.

1. The 20-second rule

Why don't you get around to hitting the gym or starting a new habit? According to Shawn Achor - a happiness expert at Harvard University - you lack 'activation energy', that is the energy that sets you in motion. And in his book 'The Happiness Advantage' he explains how you can remedy that with the '20-second rule'. This means that you have to make the threshold to start as small as possible by making sure that you have started within 20 seconds. For example, prepare your sports bag so that you can leave immediately. But you can also use it to break bad habits: put your sweets on a higher shelf so that you always have to take a step to get to them.   

2. The Pareto-principle

Dit werd uitgevonden door de Italiaanse econoom, Vilfredo Pareto die vaststelde dat 80% van de rijkdom bij 20% van de Italiaanse bevolking zat in het begin van de 20th eeuw. Maar deze 80/20 verhouding zag hij ook nog in andere terreinen: wist je dat 20% van al je inspanningen zorgen voor  80% van je resultaten? Door te identificeren welke 20% van je inspanning de grootste resultaten opleveren, kun je je tijd en energie effectiever gebruiken en zo tijd overhouden voor de leuke zaken. Bekijk je to-do lijstje dus voortaan vanuit het Pareto-principe en kies eerst voor de taken met impact. Dat geeft ook een voldaan gevoel zodat de overblijvende taakjes peanuts zullen lijken.

3. The Hawthorne-effect

Dit effect stelt dat mensen zich anders gedragen wanneer ze weten dat ze in de gaten worden gehouden. Het was Elton Mayo die dat in de jaren ’20 van de vorige eeuw ontdekte toen hij in de Hawthorne-fabrieken van general Electric een experiment deed. Hij wilde nagaan of de arbeiders beter zouden presteren wanneer hun omgeving verbeterd werd. Maar wat bleek: zowel de arbeiders in de verbeterde fabriek als de anderen gingen erop vooruit. Het was de aandacht van de  onderzoekers die beiden groepen aanzette tot betere prestaties. Misschien kan je daar eens aan denken als je wil dat je kinderen hun huiswerk maken of als je je partner wil aanmoedigen om huishoudelijke taken te doen.

4. The Zeigarnik-effect

Bluma Zeigarnik was een Russische psychologe (1900-1988), die geheugenexperimenten deed om een veronderstelling van haar promotor -Kurt Lewin- te testen.  Kurt Lewin had op een terras in Berlijn gemerkt dat de obers nog goed wisten wat er geconsumeerd was aan tafeltjes die nog niet hadden afgerekend, maar vrijwel niets meer wisten van de klanten die al wel hun rekening hadden betaald. Zeigarniks experimenten toonden aan dat je beter onthoudt wat nog niet is afgewerkt. Dat klinkt ook heel logisch. Waarom zou je nog onthouden wat al gedaan is?  Dat kan je gemakkelijk gebruiken om piekeren en uitstelgedrag aan te pakken of je motivatie op te krikken. In dit post I will list some tips about this effect.

5. The power of meditation

Often different thoughts and concerns are running through your brain. That makes you stressed and anxious. When you meditate, you become aware of that storm of thoughts and emotions but you only observe them and do nothing with them. By starting every day with a meditation, you relax. You reduce your stress and thus increase your emotional resilience. Moreover, it also has a positive effect on your brain, giving you more focus. When you start each day with a short meditation, you already have a head start to make your day a success.

6. The Law of Parkinson

Northcote Parkinson described how a task can sometimes take much longer simply because more time was allotted. For example, he describes how a woman with a lot of free time spends almost an entire day writing a postcard to her cousin. An hour goes into finding the map, then she has to search for her glasses for an hour, after which she spends another half hour finding her cousin's address. Then she needs an hour and a quarter to think of what to write on the card. Another half hour is lost to decide if she will bring her umbrella to post the card. Finally, there is also a half hour walk to the mailbox.

Dezelfde taak zou een drukbezette vrouw slechts enkele minuten kosten.  De wet van Parkinson stelt dus dat de hoeveelheid werk zich uitbreidt in evenredigheid met de tijd die je ervoor beschikbaar hebt.

You may have experienced this yourself when you started working less and discovered that your household chores now seem to take longer. When you know you have more time, you do things differently, you procrastinate more or you allow yourself to work a little slower. The same applies to your finances: the larger your budget becomes, the more you spend. That explains why saving is sometimes difficult.

So make sure you set a realistic deadline for your tasks and decide in advance how much money you want to save. That way you can outsmart Parkinson's law.

7. Mirror work

What do you say to yourself in the mirror in the morning? Did you see another wrinkle or did you count more gray hairs? Or do you tell yourself you look great? What you say to yourself has a huge impact on your well-being. We are always our own biggest critic, but things can also be different.

Lisa Nichols, een wereldbekende spreker, gebruikte de spiegeloefening om haar depressie te boven te komen nadat ze een destructieve relatie eindigde. De oefening gaat als volgt:  Praat tegen jezelf in de spiegel alsof je tegen je beste vriend praat en zeg de volgende 3 zinnen:

  • ‘state your name’, I am proud of you because… and then list 7 items that you are proud of.
  • 'state your name’, I forgive you for…and list 7 items for which you forgive yourself.
  • “State your name,” I commit myself to you to… and make a bold promise to yourself.

Lisa did this exercise for 30 days and was then able to prove to her doctor that she no longer needed Prozac, but had healed herself. You can watch Lisa's story and her mirror exercise in this. short video .

Welke van deze 7 methoden ga jij deze week eens uitproberen?